When I was looking for help for my own sex and love addiction in 2001, I struggled to cope with shame and the lack of resources for women. It was hard to come by, but eventually I found help and was able to get sober, get emotionally stable, and go on to help others as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. It was a long, painful journey, and I wrote a book about it called "Naked in Public: a Memoir of Recovery from Sex Addiction and Other Temporary Insanities" as a way to offer a roadmap for others with similar struggles, or their loved ones.
As my therapy practice grew, I began to work with men who loved female sex addicts, and witness the tremendous pain they suffered in these relationships. I tried to find more resources to offer them, and quickly realized that my past difficulty to find help was mirrored in theirs - but even more so. They faced shame, stigma, no resources for themselves, minimal resources even for their partners, and virtually NO gender-specific support.
This website was created to change that, as well as offer a gesture of amends to the men I harmed as an untreated female sex and love addict. With effort and focused support over time, sex and love addiction can be replaced by heart-centered relationships with self and others, creating an ever-renewing potential for intimacy. But whether or not an addict finds recovery, those who love them can.
In gratitude and hope,
BE the CHANGE.
This website is a resource for men who seek gender-specific validation and support for their experiences of loving women who are addicted to sex. Though I created this template for the original site, my visions is that ongoing leadership for its expansion will be run by men on the journey of recovery while loving a female sex and love addict - or even if their relationship is over or needs to end.